Forward thinking

I never know how to start posts like this, mostly because my brain is going forty seven directions at once, yet stuck in the same place.

It's weird how life is like that, everything's always changing yet it always seems to stay the same.

Anyway, let's start with the books.

Two novels (SPORE and MORGAN'S RUN) are out of my hands and seeking the next stopping point on their journey to publication. I currently have no idea when, where, how, or any other details. It's just a whole lot of waiting. Waiting's tough. Having no news while waiting is tougher. But we writers just have to stick it out because that's the job. People keep asking me when they can get the books, and I have to shrug and admit I have no flipping clue. As soon as I know, you'll know.

I'm struggling with SLIPPAGE, the book I intend to follow SPORE with (it, too, is a speculative thriller, in no story-line way related to SPORE, but I am gonna stick in a very slight connection between the two - Go Ghoulie! ;) ). It's crazy, how stuck I am, especially since the whole book is laid out and glistening in my head and in my notes. I'm just got getting any drama on the page. Seriously, WTF?!? I always have drama on the page. Another issue is getting the main characters (two kids on the run) to open up with me. Both are closed up tight, not willing to divulge anything to me beyond bare bones story essentials, and I haven't been able to crack them open. Yet.

Since SLIPPAGE isn't going anywhere other than circling around an assassin of sorts named Huey, who is NOT the focus of the book dammit, I've returned to poking Dubric's next novel, STAIN OF CORRUPTION, with a pointy stick.

There are a lot of issues with STAIN, not the least of which is its commercial viability. The original three Dubric novels didn't exactly create new sales records, and, after all this time, I don't think it's likely to sell to a traditional publisher. I could be wrong, yes, but I kinda doubt it. But the fans wants it, precious, but it's gonna be a long, brutal, convoluted, layered kinda book, which will become the pivot point for the second half of the series and I just.... ARRGH.

ARRGH.

Anyway, I've griped talked with a couple of friends about it this past week, and have told them about the big twisty storyline shift in mid book. They've been consistently OMG!! This is, OMG!! So cool! OMG!! Fuck, yeah!! and they've helped me maybe figure out a way to pull off the big shift without cheating (I don't want to cheat, but I don't want to show my whole hand for the plot by the midpoint either) so, anyway, I'm kind of back on it. Again. With new hope I can make the big pivot work.

That's been the sticking point all this time, how can I pull off the pivot that turns the series from a set of murder mysteries (sort of) to political upheaval and war (sort of) while maintaining the integrity of the storyline, characters, world, and all those pesky ghosts and still keep it exciting, honest, and brutal, all while writing essentially two books in two separate times and storylines all at once? Gah! One of my pre-readers currently has what I've written and I'm hoping he'll have some useable feedback on the actual viability of the overall plan. The book's looking like it'll be crazy-long, a real doorstop of a book, and a whole lot of bodies and ghosts will pile up before it's over

I also have a Lars based novella which is about 1/4 done, ish, called Six Sides of Blue where Lars is called to a rural area to investigate the rape of a handicapped girl. I need to get some words in on it this week. No ghosts, no magic, just straight up investigation into some brutality that ends up being bigger than it first seems. Fun, right?

Okay, that's pretty much it in writing related news.

In other matters, I'm back on plan with Weight Watchers, and it's going all right. I'd pretty much fallen off the wagon this past winter and I decided to climb back on a couple of weeks ago. So far so good, but it's a slow, aggravating process. But at least it's working forward again.

Health is okay. I'm getting my troublesome-but-not-dangerous medical issue re-checked in May. Really, really hoping it's improved. *fingers crossed* Stupid mutinous parts! Get back to work and quit screwing with my life!

Here in Northern Iowa, Spring and Winter are battling for dominance and, today at least, Spring seems to be winning. We've had snow the last few days, but today it's wind and sun, so I am thankful. Since Easter is just a few weeks away and I'm helping out at our community's annual Easter Egg Hunt, I really hope Spring takes control. I don't want to be hiding eggs in the snow. ;)

My sewing machine is still acting up so I have done NO SEWING since I sent a couple of quilts out to friends. None. Zippo. It's beginning to feel alarming but I don't know how to fix it. Grr.

I've had some depressive issues, mostly feeling stuck (see books above, and the weight loss stall) but it seems to be lifting.

Marketing is just, blergh. Since I do have two novels out in the world seeking publication, I've been looking at marketing (insert gaggy noises complete with exaggerated facial expressions here). My preferred social media venue (Facebook) is limiting the exposure of business page posts to 1-2% of subscribed readership unless you 'pay to play'. I refuse to do that, so I've opened my personal FB page to friend request from everyone. I am not happy about this since I've had some issues with boundaries, but it seems to be the best option, considering. I've let a few fans in and so far so good. I'm on Twitter, but since I don't have a smart phone and only tweet from my computer I'm not very involved there, plus I am on G+, at least I check it a couple of times a week. And then there are my rare blog posts, which auto-post to Goodreads and Amazon (which also gets my tweets).

Gah, I need a better marketing plan. I am so not good at this stuff.

Pets are all fine, but Puufy is acting a little.... uncomfortable. He's ten years old this year and he's had some medical issues in the past. We're all worried he might be creaking toward the end and it bothers me. I loves my Puufums Baby. All of the cats want Spring, dammit! They keep begging to be let out, go out, decide it's still to freaking cold (and there are no birdies, bunnies, etc to chase anyway) so they want right back in only to want back out again 5 minutes later because, surely, Spring has finally come. Right? The dog, tho, is perfectly content to laze around the house and doesn't want anything to do with outside unless he has to potty. MeowMeow, the cat we rescued last fall, is finally fitting in. Mostly. She gets along great with Puufy, but there are occasional altercations with Abbie and Peanut, mostly because MeowMeow starts them. These altercations, however, have decreased dramatically in frequency and noise level, so we're taking all that as indications she's being accepted into the group.

I'm not a basketball fan (Go Steelers!!) but I've been watching the NCAA tournament some because Iowa State is playing. I almost went to ISU and my niece is currently a student there (plus we shop in and drive through Ames fairly often). So, Go 'Clones!

I'm also rooting for Kentucky, mostly because they were plating Kansas State, and I don't like the Wildcats, so Go Kentucky! Yeah, I'm weird. Other than Iowa State and Kentucky, I apparently don't care at all about March Madness. lol I think they're in different brackets. Maybe they'll play each other?? That'd be cool and give me more good reasons to cuss at the TV.

Bill has remodeling on his mind, which is awesome, but we can't agree on what to do to streamline the house, which is not awesome. We'd like rearrange the plumbing, get a better kitchen (while my kitchen is lovely, it's not very cooking-friendly workspace and layout wise) and a downstairs bedroom/bath. Plus no ceiling on the upstairs-stairs. All without doing a massive gut job of our delightful old Victorian farmhouse or spending a crap-ton of money on a 2-story addition. Is that too much to ask?!? Is it? I mean, really! Geesh! :p

Bill wants a second floor addition over the back end of our existing kitchen, so he can move the bathroom and get rid of the 'landing' over the lower part of the upstairs stairs, plus straighten the stairs, and simplify the household plumbing and stack. I want a lower level addition so we can move the kitchen and get the bedroom/bath. But if we do the 2-story addition it'll free up all kinds of space to do stuff and we can basically rearrange everything, but we'd end up with 5 or 6 bedrooms and make the house about 3,200 sq. feet (which is insane, we really don't need that much space for the four of us) so it's been a mental exercise in floorplans, cost issues, how to change the basement to accommodate all the support/plumbing/electrical/etc, how do we even get TO the basement with each plan, and what the hell are we gonna do with SIX Bedrooms?!?

I have to disclose here that Bill and I utterly LOVE remodeling. We'd essentially gutted and re-built our previous 2 houses by ourselves (well, we did hire out the furnace work at the previous place, but that's about it) so we're both finding this wonderfully aggravating and, frankly, encouraging. It's a GOOD sign we're talking about this stuff, even if our house is pretty much awesome just as it is. We'd both been feeling stuck for a long time, no idea what to do to move forward again, to hope again, and we are. Finally. We've even done some rearranging within the existing house, have ordered new living room furniture (it'll be here in about 2 weeks! YAY!!) and are making plans for stuff to do later this year.

I am so, so happy with all of this, now if I could just get one of the books to click together (or one of the finished books to sell!), everything would be golden! Have a happy Spring, everyone and many, many {{hugs}}

What's up with Tam?

Howdy.

Life is, as always, its own brand of ups-and-downs-and-all-arounds here and I decided to give everyone a quick update.

To start off, I have a new agent, Laura Bradford at Bradford Literary Agency. I am incredibly excited about this new phase in my writing career and Laura is going to shepherd me into becoming a major thriller author. She currently has two of my novels, a Mainstream/Speculative Thriller titled SPORE and a quirky New Adult Thriller titled MORGAN'S RUN. Since I've pretty much promised to stop screwing off and actually write two books a year, I've begun another Mainstream/Spec Thriller with a working title of SLIPPAGE.

Yeah, yeah, I know none of those are Dubric books. As much as everyone loved the series, it's currently considered non profitable and I just can't keep beating my head against a brick wall that doesn't want to get written and has virtually no hope of selling even if I can get it done. I am not giving up on Dubric and Co - there are a LOT of things I still want to do with the series and characters - it's just not happening right now in my head, my heart, or my life, and I really need to get moving forward again, instead of circling the same damn story. I mean, crap, I've been fighting Stain of Corruption for almost eight years now without making real progress. I need to move on. Maybe I'll get back to it, maybe not, but I'm not doing anyone any good kicking at it but not making progress.

SPORE has the potential to be a breakout blockbuster novel and, in fact, I had four agents wanting to rep it, and me, after my original agent decided it was time to retire. FOUR. This could be a very, very big deal here and I am happily writing totally new things. It's exciting and wonderful and if, someday, Dubric, Dien and Lars start banging on my brain again I will definitely write their next foray into the dark. Until then, I must move forward and write cool kick ass books (oh the twists in SPORE and SLIPPAGE!! *swoon*).

So, anyway, the writing is going pretty damn fantabulous! :)

I do have some great Dubric news, though. I recently agreed to an offer from a major German publisher for all three novels. They'll come out as three separate trade paperbacks, in German, with all new covers and everything. With one phone call I became an international author, and that's pretty damn cool. I shall do my best to keep everyone updated as news develops there.

I did my first ever 5k over the weekend and it was awesome, other than I've found myself with shin splints. I do not like these shin splints at all, but I'm stuck with them for the time being.

Before the 5k with a friend.
I'm the tall one. ;)

Our daughter got a job - YAY!! - which means I get to babysit my almost 2 year old granddaughter more. Which is also fun, but often exhausting.

I'm up for re-election for city council this November, but there are four of us running for three seats. Not sure if I'm going to make the cut or not, and, really, win or lose, I'll be fine either way. It's been an honor to serve and very eye opening.

My Write Your Novel class at the community college begins October 17th. It was originally slated to start in September, but not enough people signed up, so they've pushed it to a later date. Frankly, I think that most anyone who wants to take a novel writing class doesn't have the money for the tuition (I have absolutely no control over the price) but we'll see what happens in a couple of weeks. I don't want to push the start into November because there's too much likelihood of crappy winter weather and it's already a pretty long drive for me, let alone the potential students.

Sewing is going all right, when I can carve out time. I've been making smallish, sort-of-artsy quilts for specific people and they've turned out well. They keep me sewing, when I can.

It's about 22" square, if I remember right. All batik.

I'm still taking a monthly block making class at the quilt shop. Here's what I sewed in September.

Two six-inch blocks.
Yep, even that one with all of the diamonds. Six inches.

Frankly, it's the only guaranteed sewing time I have. Wish I had more.

Health is great. Been drinking protein and fruit smoothies every morning, exercising most every evening, and although my weightloss is still stalled - damn you plateaus!!! - I feel awesome. Other than my shins. They're still hurting.

We have a new cat, a rescue named MeowMeow (she came with that name). She's all black other than a few white hairs on her belly and is Very Friendly. I really need to take some pics. ;)

I don't like to end on a downer note, but this past month I lost my long-adored desklamp (it was a miniature draftsman's lamp that I could move around however I wanted) and my granddaughter dumped a full glass of Crystal Light on my Mac keyboard, shorting it out. I have had no luck finding a replacement lamp that I like (sorry, they're all fugly or too big) and I do not like the replacement PC keyboard I'm typing this post on. The command/alt/control/function keys are in the wrong place and, frankly, it can't keep up with my typing or the keys are a slight difference apart or something. I'm getting screwy ass typos which I never used to get and my shortcuts don't work, so I have to pause and find the right key combination. I know it's a nothing first-world kinda problem but it's still aggravating. But we'll be down to Des Moines at some point and I can get a replacement Mac keyboard.

All in all, though, I'm glad autumn is here. I like fall!  {{hugs}}

Crap! It's August already!

I've had such a busy summer. Been babysitting my granddaughter quite a lot, which is fun but exhausting (at 20 months, she's getting so big and, wow, is she BUSY!! Wears gramma out! lol), and I've been trying to find a good home for SPORE, plus working on a round of revisions on MORGAN'S RUN to better fit the market. I finished the revisions yesterday, so it'll go out into the world later this week, most likely.

I've received such lovely comments on both books, and I'm so excited to be working again!

I love both novels, even though they're vastly different from each other or anything else I've written. I think MORGAN has fairly wide market appeal and SPORE, good golly, the cross platform and interactive media potential is staggering. Plus both books totally rock. :) I am very, very happy with my work.

I do, however, worry about author branding. I'm not good at writing easy to categorize books, let alone able stick with one mix of genres for anything resembling category consistency. That's not a good thing for a writer to do, especially in this crazy competitive market. We're supposed to be romance writers or YA writers or political potboiler writers or whatever, slap on a label and call it good. I, however, am rather label-defiant, despite knowing it's gonna bite me in the butt. Probably really, really hard. Yet here I am, typing away, dancing about with my hands over my poor bitten butt. ;)

But I can guarantee that every tambobook (that's MY brand, dammit, tambobooks!) are fast-paced fun and violent and honest and darkly riveting with a splash of humor and hope. Whether it's Morgan running from her memories or Sean drawing his terror into his comic or Dubric staggering forward despite the burden of his ghosts, I write about real people facing very, very bad shit. I try to tell the truth, as best I can. I don't pull punches, even when it's a hard jab to the reader's gut. That's a tambobook (yes, with a lower case t. Sheesh! ;), by golly, regardless of what category shelf it lands on.

With that in mind, I've begun a new story featuring Lars as he investigates a string of rapes, and it's coming along nicely. It's currently titled SIX SIDES OF BLUE and will, I think, end up novella length. I'd like to write an entire Lars-centric book at some point, but neither of us are ready for that just yet, especially since my story idea is several years in Lars's future (should he survive that long, ha ha) and the main Dubric series is still in the 'now'. Speaking of Dubric, his fourth novel, STAIN OF CORRUPTION, is stalled. Again. I think it's because I am not ready to face the massive explosions that are about to happen in the story. It's gonna be brutal. For me, as well as the singed and charred characters.

I mean, shit. It's a fire mage, people. Massive. Fucking. Fire. Miles and miles of instant incineration. Ka-BOOM!! Everyone isn't only fucked, they're fried.

I look at it and think maybe I need to start drinking. Maybe a little tequila will help me get past the initial char-fest at least. ;)

But I don't drink, so I need to find courage somewhere else.

Seriously, though. This is a freaking brutal book. Damn. I just don't know if I have enough guts to go as far down the hole, as far into the dark, as I need to, but I keep poking at it and make a little, if sporadic, progress. It's the middle book of the series and everything takes a hard shift in a different direction. Just be prepared to lose a lot of characters.

In less stressful news, I've also been sewing. I started a block of the month sampler class at a nearby quilt shop from the Eleanor Burns' Quilts From El's Kitchen book a couple of months ago. Mine is the smaller version, in 6" blocks, with a hot pink calico as the primary fabric. Here's my center basket block.

Just look at the points on those teensy triangles! :)

In addition to the sampler, I've also been working on a series of small, artsy quilts. One, my jewel-toned take on a traditional Carpenter's Wheel block (only much, much smaller) is going out in the mail tomorrow along with an even more quirky adaptation of a Dresden Plate, all in pink, that I should mail out Wednesday or Thursday.

I'm really enjoying the smaller format quilts. I can do a lot of precision piecing (which I love gobs) without having the hard, heavy work of pushing a large quilt though my sewing machine (which I don't love much at all). I can complete them by myself, from initial fabric cutting, through piecing, quilting, and binding, unlike bigger quilts, which I usually send out to get quilted. I really, really don't like doing large quilts, but these small ones (less than 24 inches square) fit me nicely, plus they've so far been made right out of my stash, which is nice, too. And they're quick, totally doable in a weekend, even when the piecing is complicated. What's not to love?

As for super great OMG stuff, my friend Shirley Damsgaard's latest novel, The Widows of Braxton County came out a couple of weeks ago and, today, a reading group was at the quilt shop!! I got to plug Shirley's book for them and got them all revved up and excited to read it. Whoop! Go Shirley!!

That's about it for me. I hope you're all doing well and staying cool. {{hugs}}

Getting Fixed

I come from a long line of big, friendly people and, for much of my life, I was the smallest of my siblings, and even smaller than some of the extended family.

Since I'm tall, and 'extra cuddly' sized, that's saying a lot.

Other than sinus allergies and Rosacea, I've always been healthy, despite being heavy. My brother had his stomach done a few years ago, my sister has lost more than 100 lbs with the help of TOPS, but I remained basically the same weight, at least within 10 lbs or so, for more than twenty years. I also have extreme self confidence issues, part due to the introversion, part not. They all tend to compound and reflect back on one another. Overweight, introverted, depressed, fearful, avoidant, self loathing! Welcome to the family ferris wheel! Round and round we go!

Me, 2012, before I decided to wrestle the weight tiger.

Things started to change for me when we moved up here in 2008. Our daughter went off to college (she's back home now, with a daughter of her own) and it gave me what could best be described as too much spare time. I used a good hunk of it to change myself and my mindsets, starting with Lasik. I've always been dreadfully nearsighted (just like my mother), but when bifocals became necessary, I lost all depth perception and started falling/tripping. A LOT. Yeah, I'm introverted, but the necessity of staying home because walking out in the world meant tripping over the tiniest cracks and falling on my face was a very scary prospect. Anyway, I got lasered in 2009 and now only need glasses to read, which is pretty cool.

I like funky reading glasses. :)

It was astounding to me how much losing my glasses opened up my life and my mind. One of the many, many shields I'd manufactured for myself was no longer there to hide behind and it was a terrifying yet liberating experience. But, hey, it was a start! With that barricade destroyed, I decided to deal with the writing demon. Writing, for me, had never been a pleasant endeavor, always mired in angst and pain and anger. I used it to vent, to purge, to drain off internal poisons, and to let the darkness loose before it ate me alive. I stopped writing after Valley of the Soul for a lot of reasons, but pretty much all of them were, admittedly, psychological and based on fear. Once my eyes were fixed, I decided to stare at the writing monster once again and make it my bitch instead of the other way around.

In 2010, I wrote an amazing, twisty, hopeful novel called Morgan's Run. Almost everyone who's read it has gushed and raved about it, but it was, supposedly, 'unsellable'. I'm not exactly sure why. My only theory is it's because the MC (a child abuse survivor suffering with extreme PTSD) and her situation are rather nuts. Morgan's crazy, yes, but that's why I like her so much.

There's still hope for Morgan - YAY!! - and I'm trying to figure out how to tweak her into a NA book instead of a mainstream psycho-thriller. I'm so excited she still has hope. :)

While working on Morgan's Run, writing once again became a compulsion, but not a painful one. I considered this to be great progress. Unlike the Dubric books, she wasn't an endless trudge of pain and suffering and cutting my psyche open to slap the bloody mess onto the page while it lay there twitching and screaming. There was blood, yes, and pain and tears, but none of it was forced, and none hurt more than it helped. Morgan's Run was incredibly cathartic. And short. I think it's about 95,000 words which for me isn't much longer than a short story. lol

Anyway, I adore Morgan and I'm so, so glad she might yet find a home.

While working on Morgan, I kind of forced myself to become more outgoing. I served as Treasurer for our quilt guild, I worked part-part time at a quilt shop (talking to real people!! Aaack!!), I got onto FaceBook, I self published three short stories (all of the proceeds go to charity), and I joined the Des Moines chapter of Sisters In Crime.

I've cut back some on my responsibilities (SinC especially since time and gas are at a premium) but I'm still making myself be involved in things outside of my head and home. But, anyway, Morgan wasn't selling and I really, really wanted to get back to work as a writer, so I asked my agent what he thought I should write next. I gave him short synopses/concepts of several ideas I had. He picked SPORE, a book about a haunted comic book artist and people who are no longer dead, so in 2012, I began.

Also, around that time, I noticed my knees were becoming increasingly problematic, my feet hurt all of the time, and my energy level... Frankly it sucked. All of my medical particulars were still just fine, but I really needed to deal with the excess weight. I wrestled a long, long time with this because I was hiding behind my weight. It was just one more barrier. I knew it, my husband knew it, my physician knew it. Shit, everyone who knew me knew it. I, however, was reluctant to lose that last bastion of  safety. But I needed to. Having been overweight for nearly my entire life, I'd tried losing weight before, with almost every possible plan under the sun. Nothing had ever worked, or more accurately, nothing had ever 'stuck' because I'd slip up and throw in the towel. So, what to do?? My friends Jean and Wendy had found a good deal of success with Weight Watchers, and while I'd tried them decades ago (I think I was still in high school) my research showed that they were highly rated on successes, especially in the long term. I liked the idea of structure with flexibility, and I liked that going to meetings meant you weren't doing it all alone.

I kind of need some sort of real accountability.

So I talked it over with Bill and, despite the cost (oy, the cost!!!) I joined up in September, with meetings plus online. Also, contrary to my natural cheap nature, I'm all in. I buy the smoothies, I buy the fiber bars, I have the exercise DVDs, the whole shebang, even the ActiveLink fitness monitor, which has been a godsend at keeping me from sitting on my ass all day.

Me, today.

As of my last weigh in, I'm down 36 lbs. Not as fast as I'd like (it never is) but averaging a pound a week is pretty cool. Bill is ecstatic, my physician is ecstatic, and my clothes are all too big. My shoes are too big. It's insane. I'm looking at doing a 5k this fall, just walking it - my knees won't stand for a run longer than a minute or so - but Damn. Me. I still have a long way to go, but this is totally doable, long term, lifetime, forever. And it's making other things better, every lost pound lets in a little more light.

SPORE is done - it was a frustrating pleasure to write and I finished it right before Thanksgiving last year - and I'm currently awaiting another batch of changes from The Agent. It will, with luck, sell to a major publisher sometime this year. I hope it does. I hope he can find a publisher for Morgan too, assuming I can nudge her into the New Adult realm.

I need another book to work on, but so far my brain keeps downshifting back to Morgan and SPORE. I'm not sure why, exactly, maybe because they're still 'unfinished business', maybe because the true concept of the next great twisty story hasn't yet taken root in my brain (I have a few seedlings, but nothing strong enough to pull on yet). I'm not sure, but I'm also not worried. Frustration with writing is no longer about facing the pain, it's about trying to cram a pissed off bobcat into a gallon ziplock bag. Length. Good golly, I fight LENGTH. How the hell does anyone write a coherent book under 90k?? I struggle to trim to get it to squeeze in under 100 and would much rather have 150. It's a FIGHT I tell ya! That's the hard part, keeping it short enough to sell.

And for that I am ever so thankful. After Dubric, I honestly never thought I'd enjoy writing, but I do.

Getting social

I'm on facebook (as myself, and as Tamara Siler Jones), on Google+, and on Twitter. Some of these activities are professional while some are purely social - I have quite a lot of friends and extended family who use some or all of these services, and, frankly, it's kind of nice to know what my cousin in Georgia is up to - but they do take a lot of time to monitor and update and such. I'd really like to cut back.

But, as an author and a somewhat public person, I need to maintain an online presence that's easy for fans and new readers to access. I've been thinking about re-starting the TSJ website again, that was certainly easy for the readers to find me, but interactions were difficult and often mired by spam. This blog has not yet received one single spam comment, and I've had no trouble with any of the social networks or their affiliates spamming me, not yet at least.

I am going to sell mainstream/thrillers under a different name, so there's that diversification, too. Do I have two unrelated sites? Put both under the 'tambo' banner somehow? Maintain two separate everythings? I've already made a blog, email and a G+ account for the pseudonym, but what about all the rest? Heck, am I better off, for sales and my sanity, to just write the mainstream books as Tammy Jones (or Tamara Jones) instead of a totally different name?

I love talking with all of you, comments and emails and other interactions (in some ways, that's the best part of this job, and many of you have become good friends over these past years), and I don't want to become a hermit, I'd just like to find a way to manage all of these 'internet presence' responsibilities without spending so much time doing it.

I'd love to hear any suggestions you might have, and remember, you can always email me at tambowrites AT gmail DOT com. :)

{{huggs}} and have a great week, everyone!

Updates and such

After all of these years/months of struggling to wrap my brain around all the things that need to happen in Stain of Corruption, I think I may have actually figured out the book! Been making good progress the past few days and I'm not angsty of gnashy or anything. I do, however, stay up till 4am or so writing. ;)

Btw, pretty much everyone is still totally screwed, which is awesome!  Well, at least for me. ;)

M has received two declinations so far and both have been very encouraging. Loved the book, couldn't put it down, but must decline due to this one (minor, easy to fix) issue. And, of course, the issues do not match. That's all perfectly normal and fine. I think that the real issue, if there is one, is that print markets are shrinking due to both the increase in ebooks and the tightening of the American economy, and that the rejections of M are, in a large part, due to that financial reality. I totally understand, and it's okay. The book will find a home, sooner or later, and, if not, I'll just write something else.

It is nice to get such gushing rejections though. lol

I don't think I've mentioned our Looming Big Life Change here on the blog, but due to posty office restructuring, we'll likely have to move sometime this summer or fall. We don't want to - we both love it up here in the corn-fed wilds of Northern Iowa, so Bill and I have been struggling to decide what we're going to do and how we're going to do it. We've agreed upon a plan and have set it into motion, including the partial gutting of our bathroom as we totally update and move stuff around to better suit the space. So, here at Casa Del Jones, we're in remodeling mode.

We love remodeling mode! Been to Menards four times in the last three days and it's pretty awesome. As our new shower will be! Woot!

Once the new shower's in and functioning, Bill will rip out the existing shower and put in a jet-tub (you can kinda see part of it on the left edge of the picture). Today we looked at tile for the 'top' of the tub surround thing and found some really nice granite tiles that just about perfectly match our vanity. This is all so exciting! :)

M is off to the next stage

My agent loved M and he's sending the book out to editors. I'm nervous and scared and excited, but it's been a great journey. Im pretty confident someone will buy it.

Managed to finish some sewing over the weekend and I've also started cleaning out closets and things for this spring's community yard sale. I'll be working on Stain's narrative starting either this weekend or the first of next week.

Cops? Why'd it have to be cops?!?

There are several scenes in Secret Project M where M has to talk to, deal with, and explain things to the police and detectives. I must admit that it's MUCH EASIER to write such conversations from the viewpoint of the questioners than the question-ee. This is a single POV book and, sometimes, it's proving tricky to get information and questions across to M and the readers without being overly blunt about it.

Semi-stalled again on Chapter 14, but I think I can get this one cleared out fairly quickly.

Now that February is over...

Let me just say that it sucked. Mightily. With great, heaving amounts of negative-displacement-pressure. 

Like an open airlock into space.

Well, maybe not *that* bad, but still. February sucked.

I don't know if it was the weather, too much caffeine, hormones, or the drastic revisions to M that I struggled to wrap my brain around, but I spent pretty much all of February in a pissy little funk. Sort of depressed. Kind of angry. Incredibly lazy. I watched too much reality TV - things like Worst Cooks in America and Next Great Baker. I napped. I grumbled. I played Spider Solitaire. And that was pretty much it.

I didn't really write anything other than going over and over and OVER M's Chapter !(@*$&@ 7. I didn't really sew anything other than what I had to sew for class - and last week, I didn't even do that. I ate crappy (which didn't help) and barely exercised (also didn't help) and generally just sat on my butt being a grouch.

Last week, though, as February started to wind down, my mood began to lift. A little. I sewed. A little. I wrote. A little. I cooked with vegetables a little. But I was still a grump.

This past weekend was my guild's annual quilting retreat where we quilters invade a lakeside conference site for a three-day weekend of sewing. My roomies were all friends (Deb, Vicki and Jennie) so that was good (other than the lingering terror of sharing living space with others), but I'd never gone before and I don't do well in new situations. I also don't handle crowds well, I'm just too introverted, and I knew there were going to be a lot of people.

Daily, as the retreat approached, I told Bill that I didn't think I was going to go. And he would inform me that I ought to, it was already paid for and, besides, what's the point of trying to make friends (something I'm not particularly good at) if I never go to things where said friends will be? (I think he was looking forward to getting my grumpy self out of the house for a few days, to be perfectly honest.)

I'd decided that I didn't want to inflict my pissiness on the quilt ladies so I gave myself a deadline. If I wasn't in a better mood by that Friday morning, I wasn't going to go. Period. I even warned a few people that I was grumpy and might not come, but everyone insisted that I should because what's the point of a bad mood if you can't share it and, besides, it gave them an excuse to pick on me. Seriously. That's what they said. Come. We'll pick on you. It'll be fun!

Quilters are crazy.

Anyway, on Wednesday, my friend Tanya called to ask if I'd crawled under a rock and died (I'm usually in her quilt shop every couple of days or so to hang out or work or cut fabric or something), so I whined to her on the phone about being cranky and anti-social. Then I went over to her shop and we sat and talked and I bawled a bit about nothing in particular, other than pretty much hating my mood (and my age and my weight and my book and y'all know the drill). And I felt a smidge better. Not much, but some.

Thursday came and my mood had another marginal improvement. Then, me being me, I just had to put my lower back out. Well, actually my gluteus medius & multifidus, er, the upper/side part of my butt and upward. Lemme tell you, pain is not a mood lifter, and I hadn't even done anything! Came downstairs, walked across the living room and whammo! Tambo broke her butt.

Chiropractor helped some, and, at Bill's insistence urging - and armed with ointment and ibuprofen - I went to the retreat. Sitting sucked. Walking sucked. And most everyone felt sorry for me. But everyone was super nice. I hurt, and didn't sleep very well. Saturday I signed up for a massage - had only endured one before and it was, well, meh - but the woman had been fussing a bit over me, she could see I was hurting (and, I swear, Deb, Betty, Bonnie and Janelle conspired against me, offering to loan me the money to pay for the massage and informing me I'd feel WONDERFUL afterwards) so I finally relented.

Never had a full-body deep tissue massage before and she worked on me for about an hour and twenty minutes. Hurt like hell, but afterwards I went and took a nap and SLEPT. After supper I got a lot of sewing done and even managed to finish that rotten Chapter 7. Sunday I felt worlds better (mood and back both) and, today - Monday - I have full movement, only a little ache when I sit too long, and even managed to exercise. Mood is pretty much awesome, too!

So, anyway, that's where I've been. Sitting around being a grouch butt until the quilting ladies talked me into getting massaged and maneuvered back into some semblance of normal.

Now that this long, rambling post is done, I'm off to write for the night's words, and, tomorrow, I'm meeting my writing group in Ames for fun, conversation, and critique. Woohoo!!

P!nk's lyrics

I like P!nk, been a casual fan for a long time (Sober is hands down my favorite song in my playlist) and there are four lines of lyric from her 2006 album I'm Not Dead (not going to mention the song here for fear I might jinx this), that I want to use in the opening of 'M'.

Tomorrow I'm calling the William Morris agency to get preliminary approval (or not) and, hopefully, the price to include all four lines, or even the two that freaking SCREAM this book, so that I can have the legal details all figured out before I send it out to my agent, and, if the lines are pricey, if their cost can be included in the book's sales contract, if it sells. The song I want to quote wasn't a hit, so I don't know if that'll have any bearing or not. This is kind of new territory for me. Any other quotes I've used have either been written by me and put in the story (like the rabbit's poem in Threads of Malice) or written by a friend who only charged me a dollar plus attribution in the front matter (a hundred or so words used as the book Nella read Risley in Ghosts in the Snow)

Some people think that 'fair use' means you can lift a small portion of any published (or non published) piece for your own use. You *sort of* can, if you're reviewing it, and there's no potential to make money, AND that the amount lifted is very, very small. However, since this is, hopefully, a book for commercial sale and it's one full verse of a song, I will get some sort of permission before I include it on the manuscript I send to my agent (or at least have a contract in hand that tells how much said permission will cost, if anything).

Respecting copyright is essential, even for as little as thirteen words of a song lyric. Regardless of P!nk and her agents' decisions on price, if I can include the lyric, she and Billy Mann will get full credit with the lyric and in the book's front matter.

Writing Groups and Secret Project M

Okay. So, here's the deal. Yes, I am writing, rather a lot, in fact.

I joined a writers group, a real writers group of published and getting-dang-close writers a month or so ago and we meet every couple of weeks to critique each other and generally have a great time. We four are all ladies of mature temperament (if rather silly at times) and we get along great. We also really encourage each other to craft the best dang words we can. I haven't really been critiqued yet  - I'm in the muddy middle of M and don't want to lose momentum by revisiting my opening bits - but I've talked about the book, dissected and discussed it a lot, and the gals (S, S, and V) have just been freaking awesome.

Have I mentioned that they're awesome?

Anyway, I come home pumped and excited, which in itself is wonderful, and, when I settle in to write, I get lots of lovely words. Lovely, lovely words, and I'm now writing pretty much every day instead of just Tuesdays and Thursdays while The Kid is in class.

M is on Chapter 18 and a hair under 70,000 words (should pass that mark today) and churning right along like a good little machine. My agent loved the proposal I sent him months ago, and, honestly, it's looking like I might get a polished first draft by the end of the year. Seriously. Is that wild or what?

The only problems, if they even are problems, are two little issues. First, it's definitely NOT a Dubric book. It's likely going to be categorized as Women's Fiction. There's no magic, no anything even remotely spec-fic related, and not only is it mundane modern, there's only one POV: the protagonist. I found single POV really difficult at first, but I've kind of settled into it. It definitely works for this story.

Second, I'm writing it under a pseudonym. I have issues, okay? And one of those issues has consistently been the public nature of being a published writer, while I myself am a rather shy homebody who, well, gets a bit freaked out by the aforementioned public nature of things. While some close friends know I'm writing (and all of you blog followers, ha ha) very, VERY few people actually know what the book's called or is about or anything concrete. There are maybe 10 people on the planet who have heard the gist of M, let alone read any, and that's just fine with me. Will it stay that way? I don't know. I guess it comes down to how comfortable I am when the time comes.

But, anyway, I'm having fun writing, for maybe the first time ever, and it's pretty freaking cool. Lars, though, has been banging around my head these past few days after months of silence, so I'm thinking I'll revisit Stain of Corruption while my agent is out trying to sell M and, with luck, I can get it finished up and out as an ebook sometime next spring. No promises, only hopes. There's still a lot of story to tell in the Dubricverse, I just have to get the guts to tell it.

Excuse me while I blow my nose

Went to the doc last Friday for a regular check up and all is well except for my crappy sinuses. I actually thought I was getting bronchitis, but nope, was just sinus drainage trying to make a home on the south side of my respiratory system. I'm now on horse-pill antibiotics and a nasal spray.

As a life long allergy sufferer, I've tried just about everything. Neti pots (AAAAAAH!!! My face is on FIRE!!), over the counter pills and sprays (oh, yeah, might as well take a tic tac for all the good they do), tons of prescription stuff (so, I can either be congested or have debilitating headaches/nausea/twitches/fatigue. Hmm... What a choice!), and most anything else you can think of. The best 'combo' for me has usually been Sudafed and a mucus pill. At least then I'm not totally miserable. Just kinda miserable. And I really, really hate getting ID'd just to buy the Sudafed. Can't the drivers license people just put a sticker on there that says I have allergies so give me a break?

Anyway, when Nicole (my beloved P.A.) said she was writing a prescription for a nasal spray, I expressed my doubts. None had ever worked before (other than a burning sensation and a bad taste), heck, nothing had ever worked before, so why should this be different?

Well, it IS.

The stuff's called Azelastine HCL and it feels like, well, alka seltzer in my sinuses, itty bitty bubbles that tickle, not burn, and I can BREATHE. Hallelujah, I can BREATHE! Great big deep breaths through my nose! It's AWESOME! I've been sleeping too, and I tell ya, it's amazing. Normally I'm a frequent-waker and I know it's because the goop in my sinuses shifts and momentarily cuts off my air. It's not apnea, it's my sinuses. Well, the past couple of nights I've slept clear through. No tossing, turning, or nightmares. Lots of dreams but no nightmares.

This is incredible stuff. At least for me. And I'm very excited. Here's hoping it keeps working. :)

In other news, I am now involved with three, yes, three writers groups and I think I'm gonna knock it back down to two. The local group just isn't working out for me, I haven't had much encouragement to write more, and have received zero feedback, so I think I'll just focus on the two groups in Des Moines. Not looking forward to the long drives this winter, but the other writers there are a better fit for me, I think.

My sewing machine blew out its bobbin hook assembly last week and I'm struggling with not-sewing while it's in for repairs. I'm an addict, I know, but I can surely hang on a few more days. It's supposed to - hopefully - be finished this weekend. I look at the pile of projects I need to get done before Christmas and, oh boy, there's a LOT.

I'm making steady progress on Secret Project M and it's currently at about 62,000 words. Hoping to get the first draft done yet this year. I'd better get it done this year because my agent is waiting and I must not disappoint him. :)

Yeah, I know it's been almost a month since my last post :/

I'd like to say that I've been super busy with tons of interesting stuff, but that'd be a fib. Mostly I've been blowing my nose and taking Sudafed. Harvest season always wreaks havoc on my sinuses.

I've joined yet another writers group (really looking forward to our first official meeting in a little more than a week!) and I've passed 60k words on Secret Project M. Lars's first story, Fire, is now available on Amazon (a free .PDF is still available if you email me!), and if I can just convince Amazon that I'm the same TSJ that wrote the Dubric books, it'll be all connected like it should be instead of under two separate search listings.

I've been sewing a good hunk, survived the quilt show, sent Stuart's quilt off to Scotland, and have begun working on Christmas presents, all while nursing this respiratory/allergy crud that's making me grumpy. Mostly, things are good, if cloggy, and I hope you're all doing well. :)

Classes and such

Been a really busy couple of weeks. I'm working part-part-time at a local quilt shop and, tonight, am attending a class there where 30 of us share strips of fall fabrics to make an autumnal quilt. I spent one day most of last week cutting those fabrics (each participant supplied 2-1/2 yards of their fabric which I then cut into strips) and I know that some of the fabrics are severely cool. Mine is kinda funky (see the pic to the left) and I bought extra for borders or binding or whatever. There's one leaf print that's omg amazing and a pumpkin print that I wish I'd seen on the bolt so I could buy a ton of it too. I'm really looking forward to tonight. If nothing else, it'll help round out my fabric stash. ;)

Since I've mostly been sewing on large or complicated projects lately, I've kind of taken over most of the kitchen with my sewing stuff. Bill has suggested rather strongly that I might want to move the whole operation downstairs since there's more space. I've started packing and moving things to get that going (gotta clear out the back living room closet, find new homes for all that stuff, pack all the fabric and such upstairs, sort the misc crap I've accumulated... you know the drill). That's my big goal for this week, to get the upstairs office emptied of my sewing stuff so Bill can rewire it and maybe turn it into a guest room. In case we have guests. lol. (I think it'll end up being more of a reading room than anything else, a bit of quiet with someplace soft to sit or lie down).

Stuart's quilt is finished other than about 4 feet of binding (which I should finish up tonight) and it even has a label. I always seem to forget the labels, but not this time. ;) I also finished a doll quilt for Vicki's child care business, and got the foiling on an art quilt I'm making for the show (from a class I took a couple of weeks ago by Ilene Bartos). I also sewed a lap quilt top in French Country fabrics, and a table runner, and have three more tops ready to stretch and quilt. And another big quilt is about due to be back from the quilters, so I'll have to sew the binding on it, too.

I've written Secret Project M through the end of Chapter 8, so that's coming along, if slowly, and I wrote about a thousand words this afternoon while waiting for Laura to finish up at school. She works almost full time and has decided to add one community college class to her already kinda busy schedule. While she's in class, I've committed myself to working on the book so, at the very least, on Tuesday and Thursday, from 11:30-1:30 I shall write.

The three ebooks have had a LOT of sample downloads and a few purchases, which still boggles my mind. Their numbers have taken a HUGE jump since they appeared on BarnesandNoble.com. Please remember that all three short stories are available for free if you email me at tambowrites AT gmail DOT com.

Still trying to decide what to talk about at the conference in a couple of weeks, but my books have arrived. I purchased 10 of each title so I'd have something for folks to buy, should they want to, and even if they don't it's nice to have some around the house for a change. I almost never have copies of my books around, which is really weird when people ask about them. Uh, yeah, I wrote three novels but I don't have any. Oops! ;) Seriously. My only copy of Ghosts is a red-covered galley with my notes in it. Not cool. And my copies of Threads and Valley are both ARCs. I tend to disburse any actual books I acquire, but I think that, should any be left after the conference, I'll put one of each aside for me. Maybe.

I've also been really busy with my two writers groups. Not only did I spend a fun couple of hours with the Sisters In Crime gals down in Des Moines, I spent last Tuesday evening chatting, laughing, crying, and generally gabbing away with W at the local group meeting. She's just awesome and great to talk to about all the angsty crap rattling around in my head.

Mostly, it's just keeping on keeping on, and keeping busy. I hope you all are having a great week, too!

The post where Tam grumbles about her characters

I have't been writing lately, oh the past couple of weeks or so. I've been sewing. There's a show coming up and I'm entering eight quilts (I think) and most I need to finish up. 

But.

My characters, they plague me. Especially Lars and Jess. They have so, so much story left to tell - Dubric is apparently quite happy with his paperwork and new wife - but I don't know how to tell their story without it being, well, boring as hell for everyone but them. So I tell the kids I'll get to them later. They're just not listening anymore. Nope. They want to get on with it, whether I do or not.

I NEED to work on Secret Project M. Which my agent has green-lighted. I NEED to work on a mid-Mage War short story for an anthology (also green-lighted), and I certainly have other viable, sell-able books partially finished on my hard drive. Like SPORE. I've lost count how many folks have seen bits of SPORE and still pester me about it. And Stuart has asked several times about SLIPPAGE. 

Arrgh! This is all so diddly dang frustrating. There's plenty of viable, publishable work I could be doing, yet my brain keeps landing on Lars and Jess and their gushingly happy - yet violently tragic - future.

Dang kids.

Yup. That's my laptop clacking.

I've written about 20 pages this week, which, for me lately, is freaking awesome. M is in a bit of a pickle, and her whole life - or at least the primary assumption she's counted on to live it - has been turned upside down. And she's stranded. And stuck. And it's pretty cool. :)

I've joined two real-life writing groups. Sisters In Crime - Iowa and a local group which I don't want to mention here on the blog because I'm still trying to convince myself that I have some remaining anonymity in the great, green north of Iowa. Yeah. Go ahead and laugh, I certainly do. ;)

Anyway, all that's good. What's not so good is all this RAIN.

We've had rain every day or two since, well, about Memorial Day, give or take, and while the near constant dampness in the basement isn't a huge big deal, the two times we've had actual WATER down there have pretty much sucked. We're lucky in that nothing vital has been ruined, and it is just ground water in an unfinished basement (my friend Tanya had sewer backup in her finished basement!  Yikes!) but it's still a pain in the butt. Bill's been awesome at dealing with it, though, including fixing the sump pump this morning when it quit working. Our back yard, especially the dog pen, is a sloppy, muddy mess and the newer dog, Taylor, is addicted to splashing and rolling in water and is coated in mud, so we don't let him in the house unless by some miracle he's dry. Stewie hates the mud, and Gozer hates the flies, so it's been a bit of a juggle with the dogs, especially since we have all these kittens FREAKING OUT at their presence when they are in the house.

I've also been sewing, quite a lot, because the quilt show is coming in October and I must have things ready. Of course all the things I want to enter are either unfinished, un-started, or so complicated they make my head swim, but that's pretty normal for me. I'll post pics as things are completed.

The kittens are GREAT and the black ones are ready to go to their permanent home, we just have to get them down to Des Moines and drop them off. Gonna miss the little fluff-buckets.

And, oh, I'm trying to clean my desk today. Wish me luck. ;)

M

I do not wanna. No. Not at all.

But I must. I must write. It's supposed to be my freaking job.

No. It's awful. I'm awful. And I do not want to look at what I'm writing about. Nope, uh uh, no way.

Must.

No. Can't won't. Look I'll even close the file so it won't mock me anymore. Scary scary scary bad shit there. Better to watch crap on tv.

Write dammit!

no. please don't make me. please.






Sigh.

It's a Grumpy Monday

The new progressive bifocals are giving me a headache (but at least the nausea has passed). My wrist hurts, a lingering remnant from the surgery a couple of years ago that flares up whenever it's damp. Laura and I had an argument. I can't find my words for the book. I don't know what to make for supper and nothing sounds good. The house is a mess. And I just wanna go back to bed.

Brightening things up around here

In case y'all haven't noticed, I decided to go with a custom blogger template instead of the standard blue tic-tac one I was using. I think I like this better. It's perkier, if nothing else. ;)

The book is stalled. Again. And I'm pretty sure I know why. It's getting waaaaaay too personal. That was a huge problem I had writing the Dubric books, the constant pouring of my pain, shame, anger, and history onto the page, it just got awful. I don't want writing to be awful any more, so I'm trying to find a way to make this book not be so flipping autobiographical, even tho it's not - the main character and her problems really aren't anything like me and mine, but her reactions, oh yes, that's me all over the place. So. Anyway. It's still a struggle.

Been sewing quite a lot, actually, this past week or so. I made some strip sets that I cut up for a curved piecing project I have, plus I finished a couple of the UFO's for the guild, and I sewed a purse from scratch. I'm going to write more about those things, and post pics, at my new 'creativity' blog, so come over and see, if you'd like. :) I'll try to get something up, on the sewing projects at least, yet tonight.

I am enjoying Julie and Julia VERY much and it's wonderful to read again. Not sure yet what my next novel purchase will be, especially since the only books for sale in the area are at Target, Walmart, and the grocery store. We'll be heading into Des Moines again in a couple of weeks for a bigger shopping trip so, hopefully, I'll be able to convince Bill to go to Borders or something. We always go to Half Price Books when we're there, but I rarely find anything that clicks with me. Still looking for more suggestions for great books - especially mainstream/lit - if anyone has a good read in mind!

The world here is starting to thaw and things are getting sloppy with slush. It's a messy, messy time of year, but it's lovely to be able to go out into the world with just my denim jacket again and not be all bundled up.

Bill and I both finished the 30-day Wii Sports Active Challenge and I decided to take a couple of days off since I'd be out of town, but Bill upgraded to the 'medium' level this morning. Which about killed him. So he'll be back on the 'I'm a fat lazy slug' level with me again when I get back on the exercise horse tonight.  It's good for me to move around and get my heart rate up, but, damn. It's really messing with my wrists and hands, tho, that constant holding and manipulating the wii-mote, so much so that I went out and bought support gloves. Which Gozer ate three days later. So I'm back to hurting. Again. Ya know, I wrote three huge, long, rambling novels - and tons of other bits, pieces, stories, essays, and words through the years - PLUS made hundreds of quilts without a bit of carpal tunnel trouble, and a freaking wii-mote does me in? WTF?

But spring will come soon and I can walk instead of sweating my butt off in the TV room, which really isn't big enough for being an exercise space anyway. ;)

Lastly, it's National Craft Month and the good folks at CT publishing are putting up a pattern a day. Today's pattern is for a Cupcake Quilt! Which I MUST make. No idea what I'll *do* with a cupcake quilt, but it's too freaking cute not to make. Sorta like cupcakes. ;)

Isms

I have a fairly minor character in the book - the MC's neighbor - who is a crankly old hag. She's also, to be blunt, racist and downright hateful.

How right, or wrong, is it to write her dialog accordingly? Are there any words off limits? Any sentiments? I like to explore what makes people how they are, and I love dichotomy. How can the lady one one side be so nice and helpful while the other so nasty? What makes them the same, and what makes them different, and how does all that play into my character's own struggles with her own identity as her life is completely shattered?

But I worry that my tendency to explore the dark side of humanity will once again go too far. Can an easy-going white gal from the midwest write about race and prejudice?

What to do, what to do?