Money

Yeah, I titled this Money.

Many of you might know that Amanda Palmer (aka AFP or Amanda Fucking Palmer), she who makes music, breathes art, and smooches Neil Gaiman on a regular basis, recently put out a TED Talk.

I love TED Talks. Just want to clarify that.

Anyway, AFP, in her Talk, explained how, to her, it's about connections. It's about trust. It's about believing the fans will be there, will help you, will let you sleep on their couch, and how they will support you (the artist) in all possible ways, including financially, even if (maybe especially if) you put the work out there for free.

Frankly, I believe this too.

Sort of.

Today, Chuck Wendig wrote an awesome blogpost (btw, it's actually very light on his usual conversational profanity) about AFP's TED talk and his own uncertain take on the whole trust/free concept.

Read it. Please. I'll wait. :)

Okay, y'all with me so far? TED talk about trust and connection, writery art versus musicy art, keeping food in your kid's belly, believing in fans, and so forth.

I am right there, in all of it. The good, the bad, the WTF is the answer?!? But my reasons and methodology (and internal issues) are, sadly, my own.

I, too, was raised to 'have a job' in a lower-income rural midwestern home. I absolutely am not saying I was ever told to put the art part aside. Heavens no, although while I was working as a graphic designer I was asked several times when I was gonna grow up and get a 'real job' as if dealing with clients and creating art on demand wasn't real work, but I digress. My dad was a professional musician on the weekends (weekdays he was a machinist) almost until his death, and my mother worked mostly in bookkeeping (the kind like accounting, not taking bets, ha ha) and other officey work until she finally retired a few years ago. My family is crammed tight with artists and musicians, even a comic. Some are professional (as in regularly getting paid), most are hobbyists (as in mostly not getting paid). I am, as far as I know, the only working writer, although my niece may have also been bitten by that particular bug. Time will tell. I do know that my daughter could be a far better writer than I am - she totally kicks my ass at storytelling - but has zero desire to sling words, just as I have zero desire to be a musician. Seen it, grew up with it. Thanks anyway, I'm not that crazy.

Ever meet my daughter, feel free to ask her if she wants to be a writer. That's pretty much exactly what she'll tell you. Hell no, I'm not that crazy.

Anyway, I came into this job - and it IS a job - knowing full well the pay sucks. Generally speaking, novelists put in months and months of work for little to no pay. Most books lose money, and few find an audience at all beyond close family and a few indulgent friends. It's a rarity to get the 'big advance' and rarer still to be a bestseller, let alone a consistently working, consistently paid writer.

I am blessed. I am. I've done the impossible, gone from rural nobody to published novelist. It can be done! But the being published part isn't why my work keeps showing me I'm blessed.

I'm blessed because my home life and my family is intact and flourishing, despite the madness of the job. I'm blessed because my husband makes enough for us to live on so I can chase this writing beast in my own oddball way. I'm blessed because I have fans and many - an astounding number - have become friends. I'm blessed because I'm working again (GoSpore!!) and it's looking pretty golden up ahead. I'm blessed that lots of people read and love my books. I'm blessed because I know that while plenty of folks have downloaded the free .pdf versions of my short stories (linky here) plenty more have paid a buck apiece so I can donate that money to charity. I've gone places and done things I never would have or could have done without writing the novels first. Made friends. Grew as a person. And on and on and on.

It's a grand thing. Truly. But - ain't there always a 'but'? - I struggle all the time with money issues. Not the money itself - shit, it's only money - but with, well, the morality of it all, especially me, my demons, and getting paid to slap them onto the page.

I listened to AFP's TED Talk misty eyed yet terrified because in some ways she's exactly like me, and in others totally opposite. I'm much closer aligned with Chuck overall, but I don't have his drive. I - through instinct or upbringing - find the concept of a KickStarter abhorrent. To me, it *is* like begging,  but also slimy and untrustworthy, like the character Wimpy in the Popeye cartoon: I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today. My experience says, for most people, Tuesday never comes. Or it's like buying the 'mystery box', $30 value, for only $19.95. Yeah, the pile of lug nuts, disposable lighters, and clothesline rope might be worth $30, but if I don't need or want those things, you've swindled me out of twenty bucks.

It's like paying up front for a home repair only to be left high and dry with your kitchen gutted, or sending money to some guy from Nigeria, or that ever popular deed to the Brooklyn Bridge. That's how kickstarter feels to me. Always. Skeevy and just plain wrong, especially since my own output is often flaky, especially near a project's beginning.

That's not to say I haven't 'supported' a crowdfunding project or three - I have, for people I know, and only because I love them and want to help. I am a master at donations, got a PayPal button, count me in!!

But is that the way to run a writing business?

But, then again, when the pay is so craptastic and the chances of making a dime so low, why not? But what if the kickstarter doesn't produce the promised product? Or what if the project explodes and makes a crap-ton of money and everyone's thrilled? But it's gross and... eeew. But it's grasping the current social media fueled marketplace!

Round and round we go.

I don't write for the money, but it's nice when it comes. I fully intend to sell SPORE (under whatever title it ends up with) to a traditional publisher and I will do whatever I can to help it sell for enough to 'pay off' something. Anything. Shit, my Kohl's account even. I joke about Kohl's, but, still. The car. I'd love to pay off the car. Or my student loan (graduated owing more than I ever made in a single year as a graphic designer at a job I haven't worked in for a decade! Yay apparently endless student loan debt! Woot! You're awesome!!) Or even - gasp! - the house. OMG! Wouldn't that be amazing?!?

But, see, the book is done. I'm selling something that's finished, not a slippery concept I'm passing around like a vaporous collection plate at a fundraiser. It's a real thing that actually exists right now. Here it is! If you like it, make an offer! If you don't like it, that's cool, I'll schlep it across town for someone else to look at! Okthxbai! Sale or not, I would have written it regardless. The money comes after, not before.

Maybe that's my real problem with crowdfunding. Taking a bet the person on the other side will produce precisely what they promise to. Unlike the shady kitchen remodeler or the $20 bag of lighters and clothesline rope. Or me who still struggles to write the next Dubric book after seven freaking years.

I have to admit I have considered sort-of crowdfunding Stain of Corruption (should I ever get past the tangle in the !*@&$^% middle) but can you even do that with something that's finished? Hey, look, I have this thing and if you'd like to be one of the first to see - with maybe some special stuff tossed in before it's out for full release 2 months from now!! - here ya go, toss some coinage in my digital hat, okthxbai!  Shit, I dunno, I just do know I cannot fathom the regular crowdfunding way. At least not for me.

I totally understand why folks do it, why it works, and why it's a good thing. I do, so please don't send me hate mail. I just can't get myself past the 'eew' factor.

But, on the other side, I do give away the short stories and, frankly, I've given away gobs of books. I give away quilts. I share freely of my time and talents, which completely astounds and disgusts some people. I get that, too. We all have our quirks and requirements, I guess. We also have our own motivators and money is waaaaay down my list. In fact, it's likely to not even be on my list at all.

And, maybe, that's where I fail. I am much more prone to giving than asking.

So much to ponder as the marketplace - and distribution methods - rapidly change.

So how about you? How do you feel about asking for the money?

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

Just wanted to give a quick update on SPORE.

Things are going great!

I've had some input from NY and I'm very pleased with the direction the book's taking. Most of the suggested changes have been minor (there's a setting issue, a deployment of the spores issue, stuff like that, and I even get to add another character!! OMG!! YAY!!!! Do you have any idea how HARD it is for me to write tightly cast books?!?  I LOVE writing lots of characters!!) and while I have to admit I felt a momentary 'I'm not perfect! My book isn't perfect! Waaah!' sting (frankly who is perfect? It certainly isn't me or my books! lol) I'm absolutely on board with all of it. In fact, I'm excited!

Even including a potential likely title change.

Why?

There are a handful of reasons ranging from 'out here in the sticks I know jack-diddly about the market or what publishers are buying' to the knowledge that the book is really a product I create and my job is simply to write the best product I can, and all sorts of business-related reasons between. But the real reason is I know what few aspects of the book are really, truly important to me, and what grows behind Sean's house frankly isn't on that list. How the spores erupt isn't on that list. Even the title isn't on that list. Nope. Not even close. All of that stuff's just writer ego, and if I've learned anything it's to leave my ego at the door and do the damned job.

I've discussed my vital needs for this book with my husband and a couple of close friends and, so far, those few things are still included in the book. They will remain included because one character relationship issue and two story concepts are absolutely vital to the story I want to tell. Yup, just three things.

The rest is window dressing.

I'm thankful that the agent seems to love those things too - yay!! - but, really, his suggestions and questions just mean more typing, more thinking, and more research. So what? Fix it, make the story the best, shiniest, most profitable product it can be. That is a writer's job, after all: to tell a damned good story.

This weekend I'm researching ideas and brainstorming not only one more important character but a few other things that'll scuff off the remaining snags and make this book scream.

I'm so excited! So thrilled!

This is freaking awesome and I'm awed that it's going so well. {{hugs}}

Let's meet Katarinne and Oriana

Here's the opening scene for the 'other half' of the story in Stain of Corruption. It starts with Oriana and Katarinne during an incredibly pivotal point in the Mage War, 40 some years before the start of Ghosts in the Snow. :)

(scene below the cut)

An update and a glimpse

I'm not a good blogger, I know. It's been an incredibly crazy autumn for me and I have a gazillion distractions dragging me this way and that, but I've been working on my fiction, even if I haven't been blabbering here on the blog.

SPORE is done and out the door, and hopefully it'll be acceptable. I think it's a quirky, twisty kick ass book. While not as overtly violent and depraved as the Dubric novels, it has its moments of dark surprises, and I'm pretty enamored with Ghoulie, especially. Not sure why - a vengeful ghoul isn't exactly an intriguing, multi-faceted character - but I do like him gobs. And Sean. And Mare and Mindy and, well, pretty much all of the characters. I am very happy with the book. Other than one sex scene that I'd intended but couldn't find a way to squeeze in, it's pretty much exactly how I envisioned it. Yay!!

Anyway, as news occurs I will blog about it, so stay tuned for SPORE's journey to a bookstore near you.  Go SPORE!! ;)

Tonight, though, I've delved back into the Dubric universe with my current incarnation of Stain of Corruption. Dubric and his burdens have never been easy for me to write, but here I am, looking at where the story stands, where I want it to go, and how I need it to get there.

Oh, wow. It's been a while. (oops!)

Let me start off by saying I did not get arrested. Was a very interesting day, though. Made a couple of new friends and actively participated in both civil disobedience as well as the intricate political process of getting a candidate to the ballot. All in all, it was a good day.

And... for the very first time in my entire life I have political signs in my front yard! How weird is that?!? (Go Gary Johnson 2012!! Live Free!)

Ahem.

SPORE is almost done. I am about to finish up chapter 24, every major character is in a very bad, very terrifying place (all different bad, terrifying places to boot, even tho they're currently split into pairs) and it's only going to get worse as they're pulled further apart and plunged deeper into the story's climax. Yay!! Still have to do the chapter graphics for chapter 23, but I'm really digging the book. Double yay! ;)

Overall, things here are pretty darn good other than I'm usually exhausted after taking care of my granddaughter all day and writing all night. After SPORE's out the door I'll - hopefully - have time to sew since I've barely turned on my machine in about 6 months. I have two baby quilts to finish (and start!! Have fabric for one but not the other! Aaak!) by Christmas, plus various presenty things to make.

After SPORE. I can sew after SPORE. Right?

Anyway, I'm good. I hope you're all good.

Anyone have interesting news to report?

{{huggs}}

I may be getting arrested Monday fighting for my civil rights.

I will be in Des Moines, Iowa on Monday afternoon protesting the GOPs attempt to strip third party candidates off the November Ballot. They are targeting Libertarian Gary Johnson specifically (no word yet if they're also going after Jill Stein or anyone else as well) because he DARED to get on the ballot in every state, DARED to talk about the issues and solutions, and DARED to be inclusive instead of campaigning by creating fear. As a concerned citizen and registered voter *I will not stand aside* and let political big shots lie and cheat their way to no dissension or no alternatives, especially after those alternatives played by the rules (sometimes rigged against them re: Pennsylvania) and did every thing they were supposed to do to be included as a legitimate candidate. It's just plain WRONG and I will be there to fight for my rights.

Whether you like Gary or Jill or any other candidate (including Romney or Obama) or not, we all need to decide where we're willing to stand and fight for fairness, freedom, and justice.

If you can and will join me and others to stop this madness, let me know. We can meet up and work together.

Sorry to have missed you. Oppressive heat will be back soon.

It's been incredibly hot and dry here, and Iowa is not known for either of those things. Sure, we get hot, a few days each summer around a hundred degrees, but along with the heat comes about 90+% humidity. Usually, in late July, you can see the air - it's whitish - because it's so crammed full of moisture. Many nights, there's a thunderstorm which will, temporarily, cut the heat and force some of the humidity to precipitate, instead of floating forever in the air. There's a relief, usually a short day or two, then it's hot and humid again.

Not this year.

We've had about a month at or around 100˚F. We've had about a month with humidity around 25%, which we don't usually hit except in the coldest parts of winter. We have rivers that have dried up, or are little more than a trickle. The corn is already turning brown with teeny, skinny cobs about the size of my thumb. The beans haven't grown tall or fluffed and just sit there slowly turning yellow. Instead of perfect growing conditions for grass, grains, and trees, everything is becoming crispy. Trees are shedding leaves, lawns are brown, and, frankly, wildlife, which is usually plentiful even in town, has all but disappeared. My bet is the deer, raccoons, possums and whatnot are staying near what few water sources remain, but I can't be sure. Even the birds are trimmed back, the mornings silent instead of filled with birdsong.

For someone used to sticky humid summers where we have to mow the lawn every other day, this is really distressing. There's a lot of worry that if we don't get a lot of rain this fall, before freeze, what fish remain in the rivers and lakes won't survive the winter. And neither will the trees. And who knows what the crap crops will do to our already faltering local economy.

Scary stuff.

Long term forecasts indicate the hot dry slow bake of the midwest will continue until mid September. Or maybe October. And once it starts raining, it won't stop. Maybe. If it starts raining at all. They think.

I just know that farmers here are selling their cattle because, with hay reaching $1500 a large bale, and grain at all time highs, they can't afford to feed them. The corn is so crappy it's not even useful as silage (mowed down to be used, leaves, stalks and all, for animal feed). Living in an Agricultural state, I see the fields, the pastures, the spindly weeds growing in hay fields and ditches, and it worries me because food prices are currently awful, and this heat wave and drought will only make them worse. A LOT worse.

I sure don't see it getting any better.

We're careening toward an economic cliff running hand in hand with climate change, yet our politicians bicker over gaffes, imagined affronts, and skewed data, telling us nothing about how they will actually repair our ailing economy, how they'll make it easier for folks to find and keep jobs, or how they'll deal with the coming food/water crises and lifestyle modifications that'll have to be used as the weather changes. Nothing they're saying really matters, it's all sound bites and bickering over the same damn crap, little different from the crap four years ago, or eight, or twelve, or twenty or any time I can remember.

Frankly, bail outs mean shit when people can't afford groceries. Taxes mean shit when people don't have income to tax. Gaffes mean shit when the national and global economies take a nose dive.

Sooner or later, the weather will change, we will get rain, and Iowa will be green again. Politicians, though, will continue to screech lies and half-truths at each other from their pedestals. Until they stop being so divisive and nasty, and instead start offering real solutions to real problems, nothing's ever going to get better.