I'm supposed to get my eyes lasered in a couple of weeks and my eye-surgeon has put me on a lubrication regimen to get my eyes ready. This includes liquid tears, ointments, antibiotics, an eyelid scrub and, twice a day, a hot compress.
That's five full minutes - I use a timer - of me sitting with a hot, damp roll of washcloth pressed to my face. Five minutes of dark and heat and not doing anything else but sitting with that dark, moist heat. Twice a day.
I'm finding it, well, difficult.
I never would have considered myself hyper-active until the first hot compress. That five minutes seemed like two hours. I bounce my knees, frustrated with the inactivity. I contemplate the black void before my eyes. It doesn't take very long before I'm wanting to get this thing off my face, and not because it's hot. Oh no, the hot isn't really a bother at all. It's the nothing. The absolute nothing that forces me to sit and do nothing, no distractions, no to-do lists, no supper to cook or errands to run or commercials to watch or pets to chase or laundry or anything.
Just me, my thoughts, and all that darkness.
So. On the one hand I'm frustrated and antsy. On the other I'm astounded at my own inability to just sit and do nothing. Even for just five minutes. Am I that reliant on technology and distraction? Am I really so busy that taking 5 minutes before my shower and before bed to sit in the bathroom silent and in the dark is too much of a burden?
I don't like either answer, so maybe I'd better make these compresses a priority.
5 comments:
I have the same problem, but it comes and goes with time. Last year I could go out to the backyard pool at 10pm when everyone was in bed, and float and stare up at the dark carona of trees around the yard and the stars above (the bare dozen stars I can see living 20 miles from Manhattan). Lately I go out and get in the pool and pace back and forth for two minutes in the water, then get out. Sigh.
Hugs. I really hope it's going okay. Take care of yourself.
Krista, it's a little easier, at least it's passing faster. {{huggs}}
Jeff, I used to lay on our deck sometimes and stare up at the clouds - it always calmed me and seemed to lessen the depressive episodes - but we don't have a deck here. I suppose I could lay on the picnic table. ;)
You have an infant and a toddler. I think it's perfectly reasonable that you're tense and restless. {{hugg}}
Thanks, Maripat. I don't like the eye drops either - they always make me flinch - but I'm doing all right. {[huggs}}
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